"Since childhood, I don't like holidays, especially preparing them. On my birthday, only the gifts were ever important to me, while the atmosphere and celebration itself — even stressed me out."
How It Looked from the Outside
Hearing this story, a stranger would think I'm just selfish — like I only care about gifts. I never wondered why it was this way, and overall it always suited me fine. I didn't think there was something wrong with me.
For years I thought: "I'm just that kind of person — I don't like holidays. Just like some people don't like football. It's just nature."
The Moment of Realization
Everything changed on February 14th. On Valentine's Day, my wife expected a celebration from me — balloons, decorations... But it didn't happen.
At that moment, the thought of organizing all this didn't even cross my mind, even though I knew it was important to her. Naturally — an argument followed.
During the conflict, I decided to look into my subconscious — why did this situation happen in my life?
Diving into Meditation
In the background, while listening to my wife's frustration, I settled into meditation and without any expectations began to listen to what would emerge on this request.
At some point, I was suddenly pulled to tears — they flowed like a river, and an image of a childhood situation came to me...
What I Saw
A Story from Childhood
My parents are divorced. On my birthdays, my father would only come to see me at the entrance of my building, give me a nice gift — and that's it. He never came inside my home and never celebrated with me.
When I got a half-brother from my father's side, once I came to his birthday party. Everything was decorated, lots of guests, great atmosphere...
At that moment, I felt envious. Inside, my soul ached deeply because my brother had all this, while my father wouldn't even come inside for me — and there he gave 100% attention.
Suppressed emotions
Didn't cry at that moment
Repressed the memory
Successfully forgot for years
How It Worked All These Years
After that incident, every holiday with balloons and a great atmosphere subconsciously reminded me of that pain. So I always tried "not to trigger myself" unnecessarily — I avoided holidays.
The Result of the Work
What I Did
- Found the true cause
- Processed the situation
- Released all suppressed emotions
Let's see how my attitude towards holidays will change now...
The Main Conclusion
Before this, I always thought: "I'm just that kind of person — I don't like holidays."
It turned out — it was trauma.
What Don't You Like?
If you think you don't like something simply because that's who you are — believe me, there's a reason for it. And it can be removed.
Behind every "I'm just like that" may hide an unexpressed emotion from the past.
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